The Bus Chronicles: The Front of the Bus, He Cannae Look

Well, I’m on my usual bus to work and to be quite honest I initially thought there was nothing about which I could write. Everyone on the bus seems normal and they’re all minding their own business. Except me, of course. People watching like fuck.

People watching. We all do it, even if we tell others that we don’t. It’s natural. It’s part of the human condition. During my people watching on this particular journey, I spotted a gentleman who was doing the very same. Except he was in quite an awkward position. He had chosen to sit at the front of the bus, in one if those seats that face the back. He was facing every other passenger.

Watching him people watch was absolutely fascinating (or maybe it really wasn’t and it was just a case of me needing anything to make this journey less boring). I would catch him looking at other passengers, watching them as they drink a can of juice or as they type on their phone. Then he would evidently feel awkward and his eyes would dart towards the window and his expression would change to one of “oh what a lovely view”. Seeing the awkwardness in his face, combined with an expression that suggested he didn’t know where to look, was priceless. I’m free to look around and not make eye contact with anybody. Yet here he is, eyes darting around the bus because he’s scared he’ll lock eyes with somebody for too long. I feel you, bruh. Wouldn’t want to be in your seat.

Hopefully something funnier will happen on the next journey.

My First Post

Well, here it is. I have decided to start a blog and this is my first post. Exciting, eh?

I suppose the tagline for my page may seem a little pessimistic and negative at first glance so I figured that I would use my first post to go into it in a little more detail and clarify what I mean by it.

Life is suffering. I know a few people who might vehemently disagree with that statement, claiming that I am being far too negative. Most people might think the same. I am, in fact, viewing life in a very positive manner when I use the statement and I know that many of you may find this to be very strange. I’ll tell you what, I found it to be strange when I first stumbled across it, as I had an incredibly positive outlook on life and took everything in my stride. I am pretty sure that I scoffed at the notion of life merely being about suffering and just said to myself “I’m not suffering. I love my life and I want to live it to the fullest.” Oh, how naive was I? As it turns out, very.

Around 2 years ago, I had my first experience with severe depression and anxiety. This was a terrifying experience, as I suddenly went from being a very laid back and positive guy to being a twisted, pessimistic and anxious human being. It was alien to me. At first, I did not know how to deal with it but luckily I had very good friends who supported me and helped me pull myself back up. It has been an ongoing and constant struggle over the last 2 years, fighting my depression and anxiety every single day. Of course, different things have happened in my life, which have contributed to my low moods so these can’t be attributed solely to depression. Such is the chaos of life. These unexpected events, I feel, only contribute to the notion that life is suffering and this is where the lightbulb moment came and changed my perspective. Here is my view on life at this moment:

Life is suffering. Pure and simple. The majority of the things that happen in your life are quite negative; however, this is by no means an implication that you should just accept reality and wallow in your suffering. Well, that wouldn’t be a good life at all, would it? No. It is just a starting point. Once you realise that life is suffering, it is then understanding that finding your own ways of dealing with the suffering that gives life its meaning. If you approach your life with the understanding that negative things will regularly happen and you build on your ability to deal with these negative things, you put yourself in a better poition to appreciate the positive things that will inevitably happen. It will put you in a better position to notice the positive things.

The sentiment that comes along with “life is suffering” is not merely “life’s a bitch and then you die”. It is “life’s a bitch but you got this”.

Love and Peace.