The Bus Chronicles: A Wee Catch Up

My Bus Chronicles posts are usually full of weird goings on or negativity. Well, you may be pleased to know that this one is a lot more positive!

My Bus Chronicles posts are usually full of weird goings on or negativity. Well, you may be pleased to know that this one is a lot more positive!

 

Recently, I was heading home from work and was fully expecting my journey to be the same old, mundane part of my day that usually passes me by. I had thoughts of getting home, changing into my PJs and having a nice cup of tea. Little did I know that I was about to get a lovely surprise.

 

I was waiting at the bus stop (as one would do when waiting for a bus) and doing a little bit of people watching to pass the time. I saw a few familiar faces; ones which I had grown accustomed to seeing at that particular time of the day but not people whom I knew personally. Suddenly, I saw a friendly face among the crowd. One I hadn’t seen in a very long time and one which made me smile. Who was it, I hear you wondering? Well, it was Charlene, @blogabtnothing1, of course!

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Many of you may know Charlene, whether just in passing in the blogging scene or if you have interacted with her personally. Regardless of how you know her, you’ll know that she is one of the purest, kindest souls you could ever meet. Despite not seeing each other for a long time and although our previous interactions had been brief, few and far between, when she noticed me she instantly smiled, struck up a conversation and seemed genuinely interested to see how I was doing. It would have been so easy for either of us to just keep the interaction at a brief hello and goodbye. We could have sat at different seats on the bus and just kept to ourselves but that’s not what happened.

 

When we got on the bus, we both chose seats next to each other and continued the chat. It was nice to just sit and have a proper wee catch up, as all too often these sort of chats can be so superficial and forced. There was nothing forced about this little meeting and I got the feeling that we both were both incredibly comfortable; so much so that we started talking about very personal things, how things were making us feel deep down and the big plans we had for the future. Honestly, the more I think about it, the more I realise the amount we managed to cram into the brief 45 minutes that we had with each other. Despite covering a lot in our conversation, I still felt like we could have sat and chatted for hours. Charlene, if you’re reading this, we definitely need to grab a coffee some time and get a proper chat!

 

It’s safe to say that this was one of the nicest highlights from my January 2019. It may seem silly to some people but I genuinely feel like we made a strong connection. When I make a connection like that with another person, it makes my heart glad. It doesn’t happen very often so I will always cherish moments like that.

 

Thanks for reading, folks.

 

Love and Peace

 

 

The Return of the Beard

I’m Back!

Well, it certainly has been quite some time since I talked about my life. I have missed blogging terribly but my life was so busy that I just could not keep on top of writing, along with everything else.

Since I last wrote a wee update, I’ve started a new job, come off my meds and I’ve been practicing more self care. I am definitely in a much better place than I was the last time I wrote. I guess, in some ways, that makes it a little bit more difficult to write; mainly because I am so used to writing whenever things are going wrong or whenever I am feeling like the pits. Well, inspiration has struck and I will take this wherever it may take me. You all will just need to deal with whatever drivel I unload into this post.

My New Job

I think that this new job has made the biggest difference to my mental health over the last few months. It seems to have been the thing which catapulted me into a better place. That is in no small part thanks to the fact that I seem to have found a job where I feel appreciated. It is also a relatively new development within the company I’m working for, which means there is a lot of room for progression. I am still aiming for a job as a teacher or a trainer and it seems an opportunity like that may come up pretty soon within this project!

I am still doing training, despite starting the job in November 2018. The fact that they provide 12 weeks of training for this role shows me that they are invested in their staff and it is a huge difference from my last employer. It has lead me to feel more relaxed and at peace with my job, which something I have not felt for a very long time. I am nearing the end of training, which is only 2 weeks away and I already feel like I am ready to do the job well. I am excited to work hard and show them what I’m capable of!

Off My Meds?

Yep, you read that right. I am currently cold turkey on my meds and have been for around 2 months now. Don’t get the wrong idea, this was not purely a conscious decision for my mental health. The meds were definitely helping me. The reason I stopped taking them was simply that I ran out and I suddenly became too busy with work that I forgot to refill the prescription. Since then, the new job and better mindset has kept me going and I have not really felt like I need them; however, there have been times when I have felt incredibly intense depression and anxiety. I think my body is telling me that I need that chemical balance again and it is struggling to cope. I haven’t yet decided whether or not I will go back on them but I do feel that it would be a good idea. I will keep you posted on this, for sure.

More Self-Care

I have never been very good at looking after myself. All I have ever been good at is surviving. Well, since I left home and had to look after myself without my parents being there 24/7 anyway. I would always find myself doing the bare minimum in terms of staying clean and healthy and also in keeping myself fed. Lately, however, I have been making sure that I follow a daily routine, which includes washing, looking smart, being productive and and setting aside time to cook meals. I have been making meals that I can take to work, which has made me feel very proud of myself. I have been making lovely meals for dinner in the evening, which has made me feel more creative and just happy in general. I have also been making sure that I change into my PJs when I get home then having some tea and biscuits. This makes me feel a lot more relaxed and content. These may all sound like silly little things to the average person but all of them have added up. All of them together make me feel mentally healthy, even if it is just for brief periods. Long may it continue!

I still feel very much like my mental illness has a vice like grip on me and I don’t think that will change any time soon. The demons are being kept at bay for now but they are still lurking. Can I keep them away long enough each day so that I can continue feeling good about myself? I will certainly try my hardest.

What’s in Store?

Well, now that I am in a better place and feeling motivated, I have decided to continue blogging in my spare time! I will be updating this as often as I can. I also will be doing my Twitter chats, retweets and mental health awareness support on Twitter. I will do my best to upload more content to my YouTube channel, as believe it or not I am still super excited to have that medium available in my fight against the stigma of mental health. I thoroughly enjoyed making my first 2 videos and will definitely be continuing with the project.

This is all a lot to handle and keep on top of so I will of course be keeping an eye on my mental health in case the pressure of everything ends up being too detrimental. Hopefully I’ll be able to keep up with everything.

Thank You!

I would just like to end this post with a heart-felt thank you to all of you who have stuck by my side whilst I have been away from blogging. You know who you are and I cannot express just how much I really appreciate it.

Until next time!

Love and Peace

The Bus Chronicles: The Long Wait

It’s been a while since I did a Bus Chronicles post but today seems like a good day for another one, given the experience I just had whilst coming home with my Christmas shopping.


A lot of folk think that shopping on Christmas Eve is a pain in the arse but it really isn’t all it’s made out to be. I was able to get everything I needed quite quickly and I didn’t feel rushed as I was browsing for presents for my family. I was in a really good mood and feeling very festive. Well, that was about to change drastically.


The worst part of today was the journey home. When I finished my shopping, I went to the nearest bus stop, knowing that there would be one along shortly… or so I thought. There was a couple standing at the bus stop when I arrived and I noticed from their expressions that they seemed to have been waiting a while before I arrived. That wasn’t a good sign. Thus began the longest wait for a bus that I’ve ever had. The sun was going down and it was getting colder by the minute. My legs became sore very quickly from standing in the same spot. My mood changed from one of happiness to being very grumpy and cranky. I was not loving life.


It was now getting ridiculous. I started to try different things; superstitious gestures that supposedly cause a bus to arrive. I sparked up a cigarette regularly to see if that would summon a bus, the way it usually does. Nope. I started walking away from the bus stop in the hopes that Sod’s Law would intervene. Nope. I even waved my wand at the side of the road to see if Ernie and the Knight Bus would magically appear. Again, nope. I was cold, tired, hungry and cranky. I just wanted to get home. When the bus eventually arrived, it was, of course, busy, given that it was super late and crowds must have built up at each bus stop. Normally this would irritate me but I was just so happy to be on my way home.


The bad mood didn’t continue for long and by the time I reached my home stop, I was happy again. I wished the driver a Merry Christmas and went on my way. I’m home and wrapping presents and very much looking forward to seeing my family on Christmas Day. I’m also very glad that I won’t need to get any buses tomorrow, not that they run on Christmas Day anyway.


A very Merry Christmas to each and every one of you and I hope you spend some time with your loved ones.


Love and Peace

Stan Lee, A Tribute: Excelsior!

The world has lost yet another legend today. I don’t use the term lightly; I reserve it for very special people who have had a great impact on society and people’s lives. Stan Lee was certainly a man of that magnitude and he will be sorely missed by comic book lovers, super hero lovers and movie goers alike. It is a very sad day today and I am sure my dad and I will raise a glass to Stan during our weekly Monday night at the pub. This will be a short tribute to Stan, with my own thoughts and opinions on his life and achievements.

 

Stan had a genuine passion for comic books. I have watched many interviews with the man and seen monologues from him that reflect the passion for his trade. He lovingly created characters like Spider-Man and Iron Man, as well as many, many others in the Marvel Universe. If it wasn’t for Stan Lee, there would be no Marvel Comics in this world. It was Lee’s love for comic books himself that allowed him to stay current and relevant throughout his career. He created characters and wrote stories that he wanted to see, first and foremost. As he himself was so passionate about the genre, he could quite confidently put out content that he loved and know that it would ring true with others.

 

An advocate of “action” over “violence”, Stan Lee would often be quoted as saying that he would not allow violence in his comic books or stories. He regarded action and violence to be 2 completely separate phenomena. Action was something that was exciting, like explosions, fist fights, epic battles, etc. He saw violence as something that would make one cringe or recoil in disgust, such as gore for the sake of gore, rape, etc. I think that this is something which allowed him to stand out from other comic book producers. Other producers were going down the graphic novel niche market, which was becoming quite popular but Stan kept producing his action-based stories, confident that people still wanted to read them. It is also something that has continued through the Marvel film franchise, as each film arguably contains action, rather than violence of the nature which Stan Lee condemned.

 

You might say that the comic book has become quite a niche media outlet in recent years. That may be true, as I understand less and less people are reading comic books each year. One thing that I will say, however, is that Marvel has been thriving despite this fact. They have taken Lee’s beloved Marvel characters, which he created decades ago, and brought them to life beyond anything that Lee could have fathomed when he initially created them. I feel that Lee is very grateful for this, as it has allowed him to see his characters live on in this new Marvel Universe in TV and film. It is clear that he supports each of the films, as he has made cameo appearances in almost every single Marvel Movie, if not every single one. His cameo appearances have always been a highlight of Marvel films for me and I am sure for many others like me. It will be sad to see the day when he no longer appears in a movie; however, I believe he has filmed several in advance so we could be a while away from that yet.

 

To me, Stan Lee was a living super hero. He was somebody to whom I could look up as a role model. Somebody who followed his passion. Somebody who was kind, respectful and a cheerful guy. He was larger than life, in more ways than one. Stand Lee was an example of what we should all strive to be in our lives. I hope that I may one day be able to look back on my life and say that I followed my passions. I imagine that Stan Lee was very happy with his life choices and will have died with very little regrets. That exactly how I want to see my life when I reach the age of 95. Having such a shining example as Stan Lee is a huge inspiration for me at this time and I hope that I continue to follow his example.

 

Rest in Peace, dear Stan Lee.

 

Excelsior!

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Today, I Was Feeling Down

Here is my latest video! It is a proper vlog this time around and I had so much fun making it! Like and subscribe to keep up to date with my vlog!

 

 

Love and Peace

The Next Step: My Vlogging Journey

I have been pretty quiet on my blog for the past week or so. This has really been because I have been in a rut with my mental health and even writing couldn’t bring me out of it. I was just in my pit and not doing anything of any substance. I have managed to scrape by and can say that I am breaking out again. Let’s try to keep that going.

 

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The Next Step

I have taken a huge step on my blogging journey: I have decided to start a YouTube channel so that I can vlog, as well as keep you updated on this blog.

 

I am still enjoying writing and will continue to do so for as long as it helps me and it is fun or therapeutic; however, this next step comes at a time when I really want to help other people. The vlog will still be centred around my own life but the stories will be told with the intention of reaching out to others who are going through similar experiences. Talking directly to people who are struggling with mental health issues, particularly men, who are far more likely to conform to the stigma that mental health should not be talked about in any circumstances.

 

Breaking the Stigma

The main goal of getting my vlog out there is to try to break the stigma surrounding mental health. I want to show people, through talking about my own problems and suggesting ways to improve mental health, that it is absolutely fine to talk about your mental health and you are not alone in your struggle. We are all human and our brains are all susceptible to mental illnesses. This is just a fact of life and the more that people realise this, the better chance we have of breaking the stigma surrounding it all. Mental health can no longer be a taboo subject. There are too many people suffering and even dying because of this.

 

My Vlog

Here is my first video, which is an introduction to the kind of content I will be posting and my goals with the vlog. Give it a watch, visit my channel and like and subscribe to receive more updates. I am so excited to continue with this project:

 

 

Love and Peace

The Flawesome Award

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I have been nominated for the Flawesome Award by katedaysaweek and I am really honoured to have received this nomination from her. Apart from anything else, she is an amazing blogger and I am thankful that she thought of me.

The Flawesome Award was created by Sophia Ismaa Writes and I would like to show you her own description of the award and its intention:

“It’s time to celebrate the flaws that make you awesome.

How many times do we see an award that celebrates all things bright and shiny and sunny in a person? How often do we forget that our weaknesses can be a strength? Our flaws make us human, our flaws tell us more about who we are, and in turn we turn those flaws into awesome strengths. In short, our flaws make us #flawesome.”

 

Rules:

  1. Link back to the creator – Sophia Ismaa Writes
  2. Display the award
  3. List 3 flaws and turn it into a strength
  4. Tag 10 other people

 

3 THINGS THAT MAKE ME FLAWESOME

I am far too laid back a lot of the time and while this can have a very negative impact on my life, it has its positive sides too. The main things that come to mind when I think of positives that could come from being too laid back are my demeanour and mannerisms. It makes me very approachable and I have been told by many people I have a very calming air about me. I make people feel at ease and if they are panicking or feeling anxious then I can usually bring them back down and help them to ground themselves.

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I can be too kind sometimes and this can get me into situations that are, overall, not very good for me. For instance, I have been taken advantage of many times throughout my life. People have taken my kindness and run with it so that they can get things from me but they never repay the favour; however, my kindness is also one of my greatest traits and my experiences with people taking advantage of me have allowed me to build my judge of character. I am now better able to determine who is worthy of my kindness and who isn’t. Now, when I give all of my kindness to somebody, it is greater appreciated and I feel better for it. This is a hugely positive thing for me.

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I have been told I take myself too seriously. This is something that causes me to be quick to emotion when somebody takes the piss out of me or something that I have done. My friends often pull me up for taking things too seriously. Although it can be an annoying trait, it also means that I take my life and my goals seriously. I don’t see myself as a joke and I see myself as worthy of being taken seriously. This is something that I have recently lost sight of, as I have fallen into the depths of depression; however, it is something that I will be trying to keep in mind so that I can continue my journey to beating this mental illness.

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This has been fun to write, as it has allowed me to look at myself and bring even more positivity out of me. It is incredibly important for me to remember that there can be something positive pulled from almost any situation.

 

I will now nominate:

  1. Jen
  2. Charlene
  3. Megan
  4. Nicole
  5. Batmom85
  6. The Unmapped Nurse
  7. Becky
  8. Meglio
  9. Britt
  10. Cordelia