I hope to use this blog not only as a journal or a catalogue of my own experiences but also as a kind of reference for anybody else out there who may be going through similar experiences. Mental health is incredibly important, especially today, when more and more people are being diagnosed with clinical depression and anxiety. If you can relate to anything in this or future posts, please do get in touch. I would love to hear from you.
When I recently went through another low point in my life (mentally), I got through it with help from my good friends. They lifted me up like nothing else could and I am forever grateful. I realised, however, that I would need to change something in my life so that I could cope with my depression and anxiety a lot better on my own. That’s when I started taking control and bringing order and meaning to my life.
One day, when I hit the lowest point of my depression, I reached out to my friends. They spoke to me and lifted me up, as I explained at the beginning of this entry. Now, I do not believe that there is much else in this world which could be an effective substitute for talking to somebody when it comes to depression; however, what I did next was so simple and yet so effective. It made me feel a million times better; so much so that I’ve kept it going, in one form or another: I brought structure to my life, where there had previously been none. Before, I would just go to work, come home, eat (if I could be bothered) and veg out whilst watching YouTube, before going to sleep and then getting up and doing it all again. I didn’t realise how much worse this way of living was actually making me feel. This chaos. That is until I organised my life and introduced order.
It was my turn, that weekend, to clean the flat. Now, any time I had done this before, I had just arbitrarily started cleaning and stopped whenever I thought I was done. This time, though, it was very different. I got some post it notes and wrote each job on a single post it:
I stuck them all on the door frame and stuck some ska music on my Spotify (it was actually someone very special to me who had put me in the mood for ska and I feel that this only added to my positive mood even more). I got to work and each time I finished a job I took the Sharpie and scored it out on the post it. Once I had finished all of the jobs on my list and scored them out, I grabbed each post it, crumpled them all up into a big ball and threw them in the bin. I mean, I could have done it individually, as each task was completed; however, saving it all to the end was far more satisfying and it helped me feel like I had accomplished something greater. I sat down and realised: this was the most content and fulfilled I had felt in a very long time. I was awestruck with how much better I felt and I was so proud of myself. From that moment on, I made a promise to myself that I would do this as often as I could. Organise my life, that is, not clean the flat. I really am not a neat freak…. and so far, I have kept that promise. I have organised my life into things that need to be done by writing myself lists. I have a static list of things that I must do, such as making my bed in the morning and getting out my front door. Then I have a list of extras, which are things that are not as important but it would be nice if I could get them done. The way I see it, if all I can manage on any given day is the “must” list, that’s fine. I’ve taken care of myself and that’s what matters. If I manage a few more things or even just one other thing from the “extras” list, I count that as an achievement and I give myself a pat on the back. This way, I’m organising and prioritising my life but at the same time limiting the risk of over stressing myself and allowing myself to fall into another low point.
I am still fighting my depression and anxiety on a daily basis, such is the nature of chaos; however, now that I have introduced order to my life, I feel that I am far better equipped to cope with it than I ever have been before.
“Life is suffering, but I got this.”
Love and peace.