My Heart, My Soul, My Bitter Brain in Revolt

I am sitting here in my pit,

Waiting for motivation to hit.

My heart yearns for a better life,

While my soul battles through all this strife.

This struggle has gone on far too long,

I want to be but I’m really not strong.

Fighting against my mind, it’s becoming old hat,

Constantly over thinking about this or about that.

I know what I need to do to get better,

But my brain, it continues to stutter.

It is winning this fight, right now,

Keeping me from doing even that which I know how.

Will I ever beat this darkness, this debilitating illness?

Will I be able to substitute it for happiness and wellness?

Alas, I do not know, truth be told,

As it seems my bitter brain is in revolt.

7 thoughts on “My Heart, My Soul, My Bitter Brain in Revolt

  1. Earthboundstars says:

    You verbalize this struggle so well, the fight against the limitations mental illness puts on you, blocking out your ability to feel, think, create, etc. I’m glad you had a day where the creativity was too strong for anxiety and you were able to write something so beautiful. I think that shows that the real you, underneath the fog, is still just as powerful and creative and capable of brilliant things. Mental illness can’t change that but it makes it all but impossible to remember.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. hadunkan says:

      Thank you so much, those are some very kind words! I am glad you find it beautiful.

      I have had a better day today and I am also glad that I was able to write it. It is a little piece of myself.

      One day, I will look back on this poem from a better place.


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