I Am Terrified

My head is spinning. I am over thinking. My heart is racing. I feel very low and I am terrified that I am going to hit rock bottom again.


I am rocking back and forth and I have absolutely no idea why. I cant get myself out of this mindset that I am inadequate and nobody likes me. I feel like I am an absolute failure in my life and I won’t get better.


I am hungry but my brain is refusing to give me the motivation to eat. I haven’t drank any water today or taken my meds. All I have done is smoke cigarettes. I want to get up, wash, eat and sort my life out but my brain is fighting me. It’s fighting hard and I don’t know if I have enough willpower to keep fighting back.


This is going to defeat me.

9 thoughts on “I Am Terrified

  1. The Frozen Mind says:

    The rawness of this post is unreal! Duncan, I worked really hard to get past years in my life that I was in and out if psych hospitals, suicide attempts and over all just being mentally incapable of functioning. Of course, this isn’t anout me but I am saying this because I want you to know that it is possible to come through this to the other side and be happy. The possibility is there and where there is possibility, there is hope to hang on to.

    I’m here if you ever need to talk.

    Liked by 1 person

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